an update on the twins

Stable abnormal. (I joke that most of us live this way, right?)

That’s the latest status with the twins. Doctors still aren’t sure what’s going on with their situation, why their blood flows aren’t normal but aren’t yet impacting their development.

It makes no sense. There is nothing like hearing these half-frustrating, half-comforting words from a different doctor every week.

My husband joked at last week’s appointment that at least we’re contributing to science with all this baffling data we’re contributing. With a sympathetic shrug, the perinatologist admitted he was right. Nothing like being the medical mystery of the moment.

Experts keep reminding us that 80% of mono-di twins (our identical kind that share a placenta) are born healthy. They just have no way of knowing whether we’ll fall into the 80%. Or the other 20%. And serious complications can arise up until the very end.

So for now, they are stable. We are holding our breaths. Taking it one abnormal week at a time. The closer we get to their viability – and the longer they keep baking in the proverbial oven – the better. We keep hoping for the best. Keep showing up for the weekly ultrasounds. Keep counting down days.

Hundreds of you have been amazing about praying and supporting our family through this twisting roller coaster. So I wanted to keep you updated: that your prayers are making a difference and that we are touched by every single one of your emails, notes, cards, and messages.

I’ve never felt so physically carried by prayer before in my life. It has brought me deep peace of mind during an anxious time. It has also taught me something strange and mysterious about the communion of saints, something I can’t quite put into words yet.

And it has humbled me beyond whatever I thought I knew.

Since this blog became Google’s #1 site for prayers for pregnancy (?!) I’ve been flooded with daily prayer requests from parents hoping to conceive and mothers searching for support during pregnancy. Honestly I can’t even keep up. I wrote all these prayers for pregnancy, and they get shared all over, and seekers come here, and I feel like I should have something Wise and Important to say to them about God’s love and presence while waiting and hurting and hoping for a child.

But now everything I know about prayer and pregnancy is getting turned upside down and inside out. Wilder and deeper and truer than I ever glimpsed before.

(It’s probably a good thing I’m nowhere near finishing that book of prayers for pregnancy.**)

So I’m simply resting in a place of gratefulness right now.

Grateful for all of your prayers. Grateful for two babies who kick and squirm and steal my sleep. Grateful for stable abnormal and every week we get to wait before doing any risky interventions. Grateful for God who holds us all in hope. Grateful for everyone who is carrying us along.

. . .

I’m also grateful it’s almost Lent – and that so many of you are joining our Scripture study and online community for Waiting in the Word for Lent. This season’s quiet is inviting me to sit still amidst these churning changes. I would not be entering into Lent with such peace or hope if it weren’t for all of you who support our work and journey with us.

** When I went back and reread the post where I “announced” the pair of books I was working on, I almost fell out of my chair. Really, I had to use the twin image?! Beware the metaphor…

13 thoughts on “an update on the twins

  1. I didnt know your name (till I scrolled down and saw LAURA) but God knew. Thankfully, He is not constrained by boundaries. He knows everything. So, when I pray my pregnancy prayers every morning and night, I also confess them for you “The Mom with Twins” and I know He knows who I’m praying and confessing for. I’m thankful for the bundles of miracle growing inside you. Our ways are not God’s ways. His timing is perfect and all things come out beautiful for us. Enjoy God’s extravagant love. You will prevail and you’ll testify.

    Much love from Tony (my husband) and I.

  2. As I nurse Maria Adele and imagine all that lies ahead for you, I pray only one thing. For PEACE that surpasses all understanding. Love to you my friend.

  3. Prayers for you and those babies, Laura! If it brings any comfort, a close friend of mine had mono-di twins and was able to carry to 40 weeks while just being monitored at the end. (She also had a painless labor!! For real!) God bless this pregnancy and may you continue to be given His peace during this trial.

  4. Laura, you are in my thoughts and in my heart. You are a constant reminder of what gratitude means. I wish you love and health on this journey to bring two new wonderful beings into the world. Marsha

  5. Just breathe, Laura, Franco, babies (all). Imagine your way to Easter joy with babies kicking in the proverbial oven, or in your loving four+ arms. Know deeply that God’s Holy Spirit is in every breath. Love and prayers from 56321….

  6. Stable Abnormal here, too. Medicine comes us with funky -and strangely concise-terms sometimes.
    Congrats on the google listing, too. Proof that your writing is hitting a chord,
    and…..now, with every twist and turn of the path, you can close your eyes, sigh, and think
    “This is gonna be GREAT material someday’.

  7. Though not in the same situation as you, I just experienced a sudden severe case of pre-eclampsia and delivered my precious firstborn baby boy on Christmas Day at 33 weeks. He stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks and now has been home for 4 weeks. I say all this because, like you, I have been so humbled and blessed by the way our community has rallied around us with prayer, meals, grocey and gas giftcards, and monetary donations (many by people in our church I don’t even know!). It is wonderful to be lifted up from your burdens by the body of Christ and a great reminder to me to do the same for others on the regular. I will be praying for you as your family walks through this uncertain time. All throughout our delivery/NICU ordeal I just whispered to myself hundreds of times, “Be still and know that I am God.” It helped.

    Now I’m off to buy your book because I know the biggest struggles as a mom actually lie ahead! And I need all the wisdom I can get! 🙂

  8. My prayers are with you as I am in my 5th month and am starting to face sad circumstances in my pregnancy. Reading about your hope and patience, gives me assurance and hope as well! Many blessings to you, the twins and your family! May god continue to guide your path!

  9. A friend sent me to your blog and your story resonated with me. And then I discovered your twins were mono-di. My mono-amniotic sons were born still in 2005. Like you it was a surprise pregnancy. A decade later and my family does not look like what I thought it would. I have 5 living children and twin sons in heaven. You do not walk alone. You and your family will come through this, changed, for better and worse. Knowing love and the impact your daughters have had on your life.

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